Not That Deep - a comic paddleboarding novel
Funny things happen in this new novel by Nicola Baird. It's about paddleboarding people and set on London's canals.
Regent’s Canal is the star of my new book, a 202-page novel called Not That Deep. It’s available to order as a paperback (£10) or ebook (£3) from Amazon or from this link.
What’s it all about?
Not That Deep is a witty novel about fitting in and falling off paddleboards. At 54-years-old, new stand-up paddleboard fan, Lara wants to take over her boss Flame’s paddleboard business. Paddle with Lara and her three rivals along London’s canals as she tries to prove that you can fall in often, but still be the right woman for the job.
Not That Deep is a story about new starts for everyone whose dreams are in the balance. Paddleboarders will love this adventure. It’s a book to make you giggle, plan more summer SUP trips and keep an eye on litter.
Why the title?
“Not that deep,” is the phrase people say as they shove their paddles down towards the bottom of the canal. I love the way the phrase works two ways because, well, this is not a literary book, and Lara’s problems aren’t that huge... But it is fun and I think paddleboarders, keen swimmers and canal fans plus any of those people’s friends and families will identify with it and hopefully love it. I also think normal people, if that’s what you call the tribe of humanity that don’t yet paddleboard, will like it. That’s a definite challenge!
Who’s Not That Deep written for?
This is a story about an obsessional watersports world, full of canal characters. Anyone who has had a walk along any urban bit of canal is also sure to recognise the chirrups, litter, splashing, surprises and street art inevitably found canalside.
Any novel starts as the writer’s baby. So NOT THAT DEEP began by being a way for me to imaginarily paddleboard throughout the winter of 2023 while actually sitting in my home wrapped in a heated blanket. The main character Lara has two big similarities with me: she’s a woman living in Islington and paddleboarding obsesses her. That’s it though!
How much eco-bunny stuff is in this book?
It’s true that I’ve written 10 books, mostly about the environment, and I do worry about the climate crisis. But in Not That Deep I just focussed on the litter that gets stuck around paddleboard fins as Lara and her friends/rivals paddle along Regent’s Canal. There are some serious points about litter, rising temperatures and diet, but it’s done with a lot of humour. This book is designed to be fun to read, it’s not a manual on how to Save Cash and Save the Planet!
I also had a lot of fun creating the classic watersports characters surrounding Lara. I’m sure you’ll feel you’ll have met similar types on the water. For example most women paddlers know a Jack. Here’s a little taster from Lara’s perspective (in Chapter 2):
If I want to ooze confidence as the “Flame in waiting”, it’s important that Jack doesn’t discover any more of my limitations. For instance I’ve no clue how to fix my bike (that’s what bike shops are for isn’t it?). He also need not find out that I don’t know how to repair any part of a SUP board. Instead of letting my self-confidence nose-dive, I sternly remind myself that Flame didn’t want a mechanic to take on her business, she just wants someone to get on with the clients so they book again. I can do that!
Trying to stay cool I bluster, “Good to see you, Jack. And you’ve got another fancy car. Would you…” but before I’ve even thought up any sensible or distracting question, his phone has rung and he’s focused on something else.
I might as well bump my bike to the cycle repair shop on the way home. But just as I’m passing his posh car Jack gestures for me to put the bike in. I gawp. “There’s no way that will fit!”
Jack rings off and then starts to laugh. “Of course not, it’s a car, an MG Midget to be precise. There’s hardly room for me, I’m six foot you know.
“Ha ha,” I say weakly, because he’s definitely not that tall.
“Oh, where’s your sense of humour Captain Zara? Tell you what, wheel your bike into the workshop and I can fix it when I’ve got time tomorrow, then hop into the car and I’ll drive you to Finsbury Park, if that’s where you still live? Always good to double check.”
“It’s Lara,” I correct him. Men always muddle up my name.
It’s odd that he knows where my home is, but I suppose Jack is the man with the club’s database.
So now you’ve met Jack from Not That Deep. Most paddleboarders and canal fans will also have met at least one crazy cafe owner and had some escapades with nesting wildlife. Perhaps more importantly most of us who love being outdoors on (or in) the water can’t resist going on about it to our friends which causes Lara all sorts of challenges. On that note, it’d would be great if you could share my book with your own friends. Here’s how…
Help spread the word
Please do have a read of Not That Deep, and maybe even buy one for a friend or order for your library. If you are able to review it on Amazon, or in the comments on this page that would be fantastic. The more reviews the more the algorhythms do the publicity work. Thank you.
Next steps
If you’d like me to give a talk on or off a paddleboard about Not That Deep then please ping me a message. I’m happy to host a paddle book group (fun?!); give an IRL adventure talk with a difference (because everything’s made up in Not That Deep), or via a webinar, or just offer you an extra pair of hands at your next litter pick. If any of this sounds good just ping a message on Substack or via my insta, sup.at.islington
Thanks for reading!